Live from the garage gym

Help Elon Phil fit in the rocket.

His rocket says PAYLOAD LIMIT EXCEEDED. Pick an exercise, watch him sweat, shrink the belly. When the zipper closes, he flies to Mars.

🚀 Join the launch list ▶ Watch the tapes

Waking Phil up… 0%

265.0lb

Goal 165 lb · burned 0 kcal

Payload limit exceededXXXL-1 · +100.0 lb over

Ready. Face: perfectly still.

0 / 0

⟲ DRAG TO SPIN

0% TAX · LP BURNED

The training tapes

Raw footage. Zero facial movement.

Unedited evidence of the journey. Tap a tape to watch it with sound.

NO FACIAL MOVEMENT DETECTED SUIT: 92% INTACT

The lore

One man. One rocket. Too much belly.

“To lose weight for Mars, you must punch. You must punch like Jean Phil.”— the advice that started everything

Look

Blonde bob, round belly, white spacesuit one size too small, zipper under visible strain.

Signature move

The Jab: fast, sweaty, completely expressionless.

Rocket

XXXL-1. Garage-built. Refuses to launch above its payload limit.

Weakness

Croissants. Snacks. The payload screen.

Catchphrase

“Oui Madame.” Used for every situation, especially the wrong ones.

Personality

Unbreakable optimism. Zero facial movement. Never quits.

JABany support: a buy, a meme, a replyWEIGH-INweekly community updateSUIT CHECKholder milestoneZIPPER MOMENTthe big pushPAYLOADFUD, sellers, croissantsXXXL HANDSnever sellsLIFTOFFPhil fits in the rocket

Tokenomics

Very lean. Unlike Phil.

1,000,000,000$ELONPHILXXXL · FIXED SUPPLY

Liquidity pool85%

850,000,000 · LP tokens burned at launch

Community & meme contests7%

70,000,000 · rewards for memes, raids and art

Marketing & listings5%

50,000,000 · multisig, spending posted publicly

Team3%

30,000,000 · locked 6 months, then 12 months linear

0% TAXNo buy tax. No sell tax.

NO MINTSupply can never grow. Phil can.

RENOUNCEDContract ownership renounced after launch.

PUBLICAll wallet addresses listed openly.

Contract: announced at launch

Only trust the contract posted here and on our official X.

The training arc

Roadmap, but make it cardio.

Community goals, not promises. The suit creak scale tells you how close the zipper is.

PHASE 1

First Jab

Launch, website, X and Telegram. Daily jab videos. First 1,000 holders unlock the official “Oui Madame” sticker pack.

SUIT CREAK

PHASE 2

The Suit Creaks

Meme contest with community rewards. Weekly weigh-in posts. Jab-a-thon: 24 hours of nonstop shadowboxing memes.

SUIT CREAK

PHASE 3

Zipper Moment

Listings push. Animated short: “Phil vs. The Payload Screen.” Merch: XXXL spacesuit hoodies.

SUIT CREAK

PHASE 4

Liftoff

The zipper closes. XXXL-1 says “yes.” Phil reaches Mars and immediately starts shadowboxing there.

SUIT CREAK

Whitelist

Grab a seat on XXXL-1.

Add your EVM wallet to the launch list, then drop a jab on X.

Drop a jab on X

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